Happy Monday! I'm currently curled up on my bed while dinner cooks, with my fairy lights flickering and my fluffiest jumper on. I'm learning to accept moments like these as not only normal, but necessary. A girl's gotta chill out, right?
Anyway, I just wanted to share something that's helped me a lot recently, especially since I've been hit by a wave of college deadlines, and life feels super hectic. Let's talk about delayed gratification. Or, put simply, the practice of waiting, and holding off from immediate pleasure or reward until later. It was this video by Vegan Family TV which got me thinking about it. If you watch it, take it with a pinch of salt; you might just find a few gems of inspiration.
We all practice delayed gratification at times; it's human nature. As a child, I distinctly remember gobbling down my peas in two minutes flat, before slowly savouring each mouthful of golden roast potato. Then, scribbling hurriedly through my homework sheets, just to enjoy that 7:30 TV show. Or you may have seen that experiment on TV, where a marshmallow is placed in front of a room of salivating pre-schoolers. They're told that they can eat it now, or wait fifteen minutes and be given an extra one. Apparently profound psychological conclusions can be drawn from this, and while I accept that some of us are predisposed to be better at practicing delayed gratification, it's something we can all do with a little self-discipline. But, unlike my homework example above, it shouldn't mean jeopardizing the quality of the task at hand, but rather completing it efficiently, and without procrastination.
It's a concept we can all relate to, but recently I've been making a concerted effort to put it into practice. I can honestly say, it is improving my quality of life! No exaggeration, I promise. Already, I've noticed an increase in my productivity and, consequently, my self-esteem. Not to mention, I am heaps more mindful and appreciative of the things I used to rush and take for granted.
My morning mug of steaming coffee tastes so much better if I hold off for a while, and drink a big glass of water beforehand. Let's face it, water doesn't taste great, and it's not what I fancy first thing in the morning (especially in these colder months). But I am forgetful and lazy when it comes to hydration, and I know this morning drink improves my mental clarity. Plus, this way I have a head start before breakfast, and taking care of myself is, actually, super productive. (yeah guys, it is!) I also try to get my bed made, and my bag packed on college days, before enjoying that coffee. I sip slowly as opposed to gulping absentmindedly, and damn guys, my coffee has never tasted so good.
That's just a little example. Here's another: I had a pretty lengthy sociology assignment to complete over half term, and in true Sally-style, I left it all until the very last minute (we can talk about study tips at a later date, when I've figured them out for myself, sigh). So here I was, with four essays to complete, and maybe thirty-six hours, into which I also had to factor classes, food and sleep - nice one Sal. Anyhow. Previously, I'd have crumbled under the pressure of this and most likely turned in either a sub-standard piece, or nothing at all (which wasn't an option in this case since it counted towards my final grade, aaaah!) My concentration is appalling and I am so easily distracted, so that what could be worked through in twelve hours, easily eats up an entire week.
Then I remembered my new friend, delayed gratification. I sat in my uncomfortable library chair and I thought: what would be really luxurious and relaxing right now? What I came up with was something along the lines of a warm bath, fluffy pjs, hot chocolate and netflix. I let myself float in this thought for a moment, before telling myself: okay. You can close your laptop, catch the bus home and have all of these things, but you won't really enjoy them because of the deadline still looming over you. Or, you could persevere, switch off your phone, and get busy. Complete this damn assignment, even if you're in the library until closing, and then you can go home and take a deep breath. Knowing that you're done, and can truly enjoy your relaxation time.
Guys, it worked! I calmed my anxiety, I told myself that panicking will not change my situation, and I got it done. All the while, promising myself I'd learn from my mistakes and prioritize it earlier next time. But baby steps, right? I had such a relaxing evening (albeit an evening which started at 9pm), and I woke up the next morning feeling refreshed and calm about the day ahead.
Since then, delayed gratification is one of my favourite tools. It's a way of factoring in those little things you love, whilst at the same time, getting shit done! For you, it might mean getting your blood pumping on a chilly sunday morning run, before coming home to a cosy breakfast with your family. Perhaps you could do the ironing and cleaning bright and early on a saturday morning, then enjoy a chilled weekend knowing that it's out of the way. Maybe even something little, like washing up the pan you cooked with, before sitting down to enjoy your dinner. Although let's be real, I'm never doing that.
An end note: I am all for self-care, and I am so against the notion that relaxation should be earned. No no no. This is just a little tip for when you're struggling to get cracking on that dreaded task, or when you can't get motivated to implement that healthy habit you know is good for you.
Have a chilled evening,
S xxx
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